I want a tattoo!

And here's the pic!

amazing!

I shared that thought on Facebook and uploaded a picture of how it would look. With flowers and a little bit of lace and nice spring faded colors.  And all but two said it looked amazing.

“Where’s the beauty?” one of those two asked… and I just had to reply! Continue reading

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Bilateral mastectomy: a nightmare of a stay at the hospital

As you probably read on another post, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and the first opinion I got was that I was pretty much going to die in a matter of months if I didn’t undergo surgery pronto.  Scary tactics I guess.

It was a long name with a HER2 in it that I couldn’t have cared less about.  Why bother memorizing a name when the important thing here is what you’ll do about it?! Continue reading

Bilateral mastectomy. A blessing?

When I was a teenager I weighed 95 pounds and wore a 34C and got to be a D at some point. That was huge for such a skinny girl! I hated that not one single person on this planet would look me in the eye when talking to me as, apparently, they were the first thing anyone saw. And I don’t care if I’m not politically correct here, but I’ll just say it: men think that big boobs stand for “get me in bed now!”.

By the time I was 40 I weighed 119 pounds and my boobs sort of shrunk to a more “normal” size of 34B, yet the thought of them being big was still there so I had been using sports bras for over 10 years to be able to walk fast without them moving like they had a life of their own and wear blouses without the boob-button opening up.

Continue reading

Chemo side effects …and how I ignored them

I got the red chemo first. The scary chemo. The strong one as I was told.

I didn’t get rid of them all, but I did ‘delete’ them to the point of almost feeling great.  And just in case my mind didn’t prove to be strong enough, my husband filled the fridge with easy to swallow and digest foods like yoghurt, fruit and juices. He bought what we had learned were good for nausea and diarrhea. Then he prepared rice, stew and bone broth.

So there, we were all set and ready for whatever came my way.

The first 24 hours were as if I had not gotten any chemo at all.  I felt ‘normal’.  Continue reading

Lesson learned!

After the whole breast cancer diagnosis, I gradually understood that I didn’t need to teach /prove /demonstrate anything to anyone. Understanding and/or learning it myself had to be enough.  And it has.

This was a tough one, but the lesson learned with this glitch we call cancer is that this body is just the transportation that allows me to vibrate in a universe of energy, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to interact because… I’d be invisible.  Yes, the body I inhabit was diagnosed with breast cancer, but I wasn’t!  My spirit didn’t have cancer. I’m energy so I will never be sick, nor die. Continue reading

You have cancer – So what?

“You have cancer” are powerful words that are nearly impossible to forget even when it’s all over.  Though that’s exactly what I said when I found out: So WHAT?

It was December 6, 2013 when I had the last chemo and this body is feeling great again. But the thought of it is right there in the back of my mind and it doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself it’s gone, there’s this voice inside that says “well, maybe”. So, for the time being, I will continue to live life as I have for years: happy and grateful to be here and making each day worth it by sharing my spirit and learning from others.

The very first thing I told everyone I came across with, including the doctor, was: “please, don’t call it mine. It’s not my lump nor my cancer nor my chemo. I didn’t buy any of it nor asked for it so none of it is mine”. Continue reading