My two week notice… and the end

My two week notice… and the end I guess some external issues do make a difference in our health.  Mine plummeted from one minute to the next.  I was “fine”… and then I wasn’t.  It’s like I’m on a slalom trying to avoid poles and gates but going so fast that I cannot help but crash!

All of the end of life symptoms presented themselves at the same time one night last week.  Pain that will not go away, fatigue that makes me want to stay in bed all day -which makes me wish those two weeks were over sooner- nausea and a metallic taste that will not let me eat (not even my favorite meals and/or snacks), headaches, vertigo, lack of concentration, etc.  It’s the whole enchilada!

So I started thinking and wondering if something had happened for my psyche to have given up and allowed the cancer to take over in no time… being such a strong person and a positive one.  Was there something that no longer made me feel at ease on this planet?  My boss, who’s also a dear friend, commented on one (of the two “problems” I can think of) when I gave him my two week notice. Continue reading

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Don’t just breathe, please

I find myself trying to convince those around me that enjoying and making each day matter in a positive way rather than mere breathing is the way to go.  My dad, for one, is an individual who gave up some 20 years ago.  A lifetime.  And there’s, apparently, nothing I can do or say to bring him out of the breathing mode he decided to be in. Though, looking back, I’m not sure he’s ever really enjoyed life.  Unlike his dad. Continue reading