…but you look great!

I get that all the time! And there wouldn’t be anything odd or wrong with it if it weren’t for the fact that it is now driving me crazy.  Yup! Never thought I’d say this for such a nice comment! But it does… It does now.

Let me start by saying that prior to the colostomy and cancer diagnosis I weighed only 105 pounds because I had lost 30 in less than 6 months.  You see, I was afraid to eat as pretty much nothing would come out –except for blood- and had already ended up in the hospital with a bowel obstruction; so it scared the hell out of me just thinking about food; therefore, I started drinking protein shakes which did not help much and I ended up with kidney stones and a punctured bladder!  Don’t ask me why… yes, the doctors explained but, in the end, who cares!?  I made it worse and was literally starving myself to death.

I swear I had never felt so much pain and for such a long time.  I know I looked like death was nearing because most everyone got that “oh, my gosh” look on their faces when they saw me; especially if they hadn’t seen me for a while.

But things got better after surgery and I began feeling better for the first time in months… though they felt like forever. Continue reading

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Is having cancer relevant in our daily lives?

No, it’s not relevant nor should it be! To me, it’s just a glitch, as simple as that. And while some are finding it difficult to understand me and my happy-go-lucky attitude in dealing with this whole cancer issue -because they don’t really know me, I’m going completely bananas trying to understand them and whatever it is they expect me to do or be. Like the every day question:

– How are you?, someone asks
– I’m great and you?, I happily respond

That response alone annoys some I come across with and I don’t understand why. It’s as if they were expecting me to feel bad about my life or look the part of a dying person and since I don’t go for either they get this look on their faces that seems to say “it can’t be so”. Continue reading

Chemo side effects …and how I ignored them

I got the red chemo first. The scary chemo. The strong one as I was told.

I didn’t get rid of them all, but I did ‘delete’ them to the point of almost feeling great.  And just in case my mind didn’t prove to be strong enough, my husband filled the fridge with easy to swallow and digest foods like yoghurt, fruit and juices. He bought what we had learned were good for nausea and diarrhea. Then he prepared rice, stew and bone broth.

So there, we were all set and ready for whatever came my way.

The first 24 hours were as if I had not gotten any chemo at all.  I felt ‘normal’.  Continue reading